Brother Number One (of Three)

My brother, Bill, has lived in Colorado for almost 30 years now. I was about 8 when he moved there; I was bummed because he was such a cool brother. He used to take me around the neighborhood in our red wagon. I don't think he was behind the "Let's put Colleen in the dryer" scheme. (I think that was Mike.)
Anyway, the first time I ever flew on an airplane, it was to Colorado to visit him. I was maybe 9 or 10 at the time. I remember the oddest things about this trip, like that I wore this ugly teal polyester blazer and skirt, just a perfect match with what the flight attendants were wearing. I remember a billboard in Denver saying, "Crown Russe. As in Juice." I also remember the day we had to leave. I didn't feel well. I was so sad to leave Bill that I could not eat. I didn't like, but got used to, saying goodbye to him and knowing I won't be seeing him for a while.

So I learned that indeed there was a different world outside of the suburbs of New Jersey. Colorado became a fascination. In fifth grade, I wrote a report on it for my groovy teacher, Mr. Harold Grusky (who made us listen to Peter, Paul and Mary, and taught us Robert Frost poems, and would say "Shut the mouths."). My dad always referred to Colorado as "Out There." As in, "Out There, everyone lives better. More healthy. Active. Out There, people are nicer."

Christmases were always that much better when he came back to visit. I loved going to Newark Airport with my dad to pick him up. Yes, Newark: smelled gross, weird orange lighting, New Jersey Turnpike filled with trucks, Anheuser Busch smokestack working all night. Not like Out There. I loved the nasty smell for what it meant: Our family would be together again for a week.

I remember finding meaning to "I'll Be Home For Christmas." I still think of Bill when I hear it. He doesn't get back as much now; he's got his own family Out There.

He went Out There with the shirt on his back and the desire to make a life for himself. I have always looked up to him for that kind of courage and determination. He didn't have it easy, and actually lived in a cabin in the mountains with scant amenities, his closest neighbor being Harold, some sly old mountain guy.

Now he's got a house, running water, even a wife!

Last time he came out, Thanksgiving 2003, seems way too long ago.

Hey, Bill, get out here again soon. There's a new boy in town!
I have pepperoni.... and Taylor Ham....come to NJ.... come to NJ....