Love Thy Neighbor
We used to have a drug dealer live across the street. I live in a decent neighborhood, a desirable lake community as some realtors would have you believe. So what up with the neighbors? He seemed to be a nice enough guy, always smiling and saying hi to me (even though nasty characters zoomed up in nasty cars for a minute, then took off). Then he went away to the slammer for awhile.
So, yada, yada, yada, some people who lived in the house died, and the house went up on the market. For a ridiculous, astronomical amount. This young couple with a baby bought the house and moved in.
My husband and I were so glad to see the drug dealer gone. I welcomed this young, innocent couple happily. They invited us to birthday parties. They would pop over on Saturdays. Then , they would pop over when we would be entertaining family and friends. Many cars parked in our driveway would not thwart the neighborly visits. Then, they would pop over with their child so I could watch her just for 10 minutes. Just for a half an hour. Just for the afternoon. Overnight when she had #2.
Our baby was just a week old when he came to the door and stepped in, all pasty white and sweaty, asking if I had anything he could take for the flu. What the FUCK (for you, Closet Metro ) are you doing touching my doorknob and breathing on me in my kitchen with your Ebola breath when I have a newborn?
He also has erected The Ugliest Mailbox House (yes. a house. I'll post that pic in the future). I want to pay off the township snowplow guy to take it out the next time we get a good snowfall.
I wish we had the drug dealer back.
So, yada, yada, yada, some people who lived in the house died, and the house went up on the market. For a ridiculous, astronomical amount. This young couple with a baby bought the house and moved in.
My husband and I were so glad to see the drug dealer gone. I welcomed this young, innocent couple happily. They invited us to birthday parties. They would pop over on Saturdays. Then , they would pop over when we would be entertaining family and friends. Many cars parked in our driveway would not thwart the neighborly visits. Then, they would pop over with their child so I could watch her just for 10 minutes. Just for a half an hour. Just for the afternoon. Overnight when she had #2.
Our baby was just a week old when he came to the door and stepped in, all pasty white and sweaty, asking if I had anything he could take for the flu. What the FUCK (for you, Closet Metro ) are you doing touching my doorknob and breathing on me in my kitchen with your Ebola breath when I have a newborn?
He also has erected The Ugliest Mailbox House (yes. a house. I'll post that pic in the future). I want to pay off the township snowplow guy to take it out the next time we get a good snowfall.
I wish we had the drug dealer back.
posted by cakeboom at
4:54 PM
4 Comments:
You dedicated a "FUCK" for me? Wow, I feel so touched. Really I'm not that much of a potty mouth
(well, I guess I am when the kid isn't around). I probably would have wimped out and written "WTF," but I understand your taking out the big guns when the inconsiderate FUCK shows up threatening the health of your baby.
Hopefully your answer to "do you have anything for the flu" was a swift kick to the nuggets.
You know, I should've done that. We just wanted to make him go away, so we gave him Advil Cold and Sinus. I should have busted out the Tylenol from 1980's... remember, the one with the cyanide in it?
Muahhahahahaha
...or at least some good drugs...
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